The Space Between

Why Take the Hard Road?

By Harville & Helen / 03/08/2019

If we no longer feel any love for our partner, if we fight continuously, or we live together in mutual silence, why shouldn’t we call it quits? If we are convinced that we are with the “wrong” person (different values, different goals, different parenting styles, different everything) why bother trying to work it out? Although...

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Stop Abusing Your Partner with Negativity

By Harville & Helen / 02/13/2019

During the time our marriage teetered between renewal and divorce, we were visiting a book store when we happened on a book about how astrology affects relationships. Just for fun, we opened to the page where our two astrological signs intersected. Then we read, “You will destroy your relationship unless you stop the unrelenting negative...

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The Golden Rule for Lovers

By Harville & Helen / 01/30/2019

The time-honored golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is a profound instruction for relationships in general. But in intimate partnerships, we need to take this admonishment a step further. Our golden rule for couples is: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” Instead of...

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The Birth of Love

By Harville & Helen / 12/04/2018

When we fall in love, suddenly we see life in technicolor.  We nibble each others’ ears and tell each other everything; our limitations and rigidities melt away.  We’re sexier, smarter, funnier, more giving.  Now we feel whole, we feel like ourselves, we areconnected. But inevitably–whether we marry or move in together– things just start to go wrong.  The...

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Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams

By Harville & Helen / 11/08/2018

Most of us grew up with a fantasy dream relationship, of finding the “perfect person” and living “happily ever after.” But sometimes, real life is somewhat of a letdown. Life gets busy. The relationship feels stale or becomes highly conflicted. There are bills to pay, diapers to change, meals to cook and projects to complete....

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Curiosity Killed the Cat, But It Can Save Your Marriage

By Harville & Helen / 10/23/2018

Couples trying to revive the romance they felt in the early stages of their relationships sometimes turn to big, headline strategies to demonstrate their affection for their mate. They take exotic vacations, buy expensive gifts, or make elaborate Valentine’s Day or anniversary efforts in the hopes that with intensive, regularly scheduled maintenance, love will trundle...

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